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Beginning... Again

Wednesday, May 1, 2019 at 10:29AM
Posted by Registered CommenterTselani

On the first day, the challenge was seemingly simple: pick a word that will describe your 2019. Easy, I thought. The previous year was similar to a roller coaster ride with what felt like more down than up. But trying to pick a word that would represent moving forward took some me several days. By sitting quietly, it finally came to me 

Grow.

Today I spent the morning in the garden, folding in the latest batch of compost into one of our vegetable beds. The rich dark soil smells slightly sweet, full off life. I was digging in old life to give rise to new. Perhaps a cheesy metaphor could be made from this image, but it struck me in a very powerful way. It made me want to write again.

For many years, I’ve felt stagnant. Becoming a wife, a mother and an instructor has left my personal stores very empty. When everyone around me needs so much, I have little left over to nourish myself. I chose the things that were important at the time and left others along the path: writing, my passion, my drive, my creativity. And for a while there, I thought they had vanished, never to be seen again.

But then something inside me started to grow. It started with some words on paper. And before I knew it, something stirred inside my core. Something was still there, coming back to life, seeking the sun.

I’m starting to learn that growth can be achieved, even though I’m wearing many hats. But it’s my responsibility to make time for myself. I wouldn’t necessarily call it selfishness, but I need to give myself a bit more nurturing. So just like the soil, I plan to feed myself with all the things I’ve learned and push forward into something new. The growing season has begun… again.

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